Word Count: 1730
Bisexuality and S/M: The Bi Switch Revolution
by Cecilia Tan
I am part of what has been called "the bi switch revolution" (footnote read: a term used by Jay Wiseman, author of SM:101 to describe the current shift in the S/M community toward a general consensus that switching and bisexuality are not only accepted, but expected and commonplace) within the S/M community, which refers to the emergence of a large bisexual population among S/M players, who interact not only with both men and women, but also enjoy both the top and bottom roles in S/M play. As a bisexual in the S/M community, I feel an important part of my emerging role is to act as a link between the bisexual community and the S/M community, an alliance that could prove important in the political realm.
Cultural Definitions
I must begin by making some definitions of my own. I define bisexuality as the aspect of sexuality that allows a person to have erotic interest in both men and women (whether simultaneously or serially). S/M is the aspect of sexuality that allows a person to have an erotic interest in the broad range of activities that involve consensual exchange of power, including bondage, whipping, role-playing, and much more. Within S/M, players are typically divided into two roles, Top and Bottom. These general terms encompass the various types of opposites, dominant and submissive, sadist and masochist, giver and receiver. An individual who enjoys being on both sides is known as a "switch."
Switches and bisexuals both occupy a middle-ground between extremes. On any spectrum, it is the individuals at each pole that make the strongest cultural definitions, who set the most easily identifiable archetypes and exemplary role models. As such, even if they are in the majority those in the middle are defined as outside the norm, a threat to the status quo. For many years, the S/M community was locked into strict roles of Top and Bottom. Tops were distinguished from Bottoms by distinctive modes of dress and visual signals accepted throughout the community as norms. For example, Tops wore their keys on the left beltloop, Bottoms on the right. (Footnote read: Larry Townsend, one of the most well-known writers on the subject of gay male S/M says "There was a time when keys hanging from the left hip indicated a Topman, whereas those on the right denoted an M [bottom]." The Leatherman's Handbook II, p. 26) There was also the infamous 'hankie code,' in which bandanas of different colors hung from the back pocket of someone's jeans signified what kind of S/M the wearer was into, red meaning fistfucking, gray meaning bondage, and so on. (The hankie code seems to have passed out of use in many places, not so much because of the bi switch revolution as because it was inconvenient, difficult to remember, and difficult to see in dark bars.) Tops wore their hankies in the left pocket, bottoms on the right. When a person entered the world of S/M for the first time, he or she was taught these rules, and was unable to participate without choosing a one role or the other. This stricture on role choice reminds me of my own experience as a young college woman: when I felt various erotic urges toward women, I joined the campus lesbian and gay students organization and was told that I had to accept that I was fully a lesbian, or I didn't belong there. The artificial division of people into either-or roles doesn't leave room for those who are in the middle or who enjoy traveling from one end to the other at will. The division is also exactly that: a splitting of what should be a unified group. Switches and bisexuals both have a need to claim the middle-ground.
Exploring the Middle Ground
Many bisexuals, myself included, feel we are attracted to people for qualities other than biological equipment. So, as a bisexual, when I am considering someone a possible partner for erotic interaction, their gender is not necessarily first priority. Adding S/M into the equation ups the qualities beyond gender to consider. Because S/M play eroticizes more than just the genitals, there are many additional attributes that make a partner desirable. Both women and men have arms and legs that may be bound, backsides that may be paddled, and minds and hearts which can fully participate in an S/M interaction ("scene").
In my case, one might wonder if my de-emphasis on gender for S/M play is because I identify so strongly as bisexual. Many S/M players are monosexual, and seek out partners of one particular gender as a matter of course. But a good number have come to realize their own bisexuality as a result of casual S/M play with both men and women. By my definitions of bisexuality and S/M, people who play with partners of both genders are behaviorally bisexual. Some of these players will eventually come to identify as bi as a result, while others won't. The range of activities in S/M that are not gender-specific allows for erotic interactions to take place between otherwise exclusive groups. I recently witnessed a self-avowed woman-identified lesbian flogging a "Kinsey Six" homosexual man. Scenes like this are not uncommon and tend to be free of political repercussions. Is S/M one of the few arenas where dykes and fags can interact erotically? Is S/M an arena where people of any gender or orientation can experiment with bisexuality safely? In my experience, the answer is yes to both questions.
In the political arena, it seems logical that various sexual minorities would ally with one another. But the lesbian, gay, S/M, transgendered, and bisexual communities are still mostly isolated and alienated from one another. Breaking that isolation between groups is a key to sexual liberation for all. If a unified movement toward freedom of sexual expression is ever to come about, the bisexual community is one place we can see it happen, S/M is one of the tools that can make it happen, and now the time is ripe for it to happen.
People are coming out as bisexual and as S/M players all across the United States. The reasons are myriad and numerous enough to fill their own book. Between a rising interest in sexuality in the general populace and the rebellion against the Sex=Death 80s (for example, the explosion in popularity for mainstream literary erotica, the rise in sales for mail order sex toys), the pop culture influence of S/M chic (Madonna) and the return of bisexual chic (Suede, Sandra Bernhard, and others who have revealed their bisexuality to gain popularity, notice or panache), many people are coming to the ideas of S/M and bisexuality without the indoctrination of the past, or are more easily able to overcome that indoctrination. Enticed by the chic images of the mass media, the new (but not necessarily young) explorer may venture into bisexuality or S/M, two communities which maintain a sex-positive attitude. When a community grows slowly, it is possible to indoctrinate every member of the tribe. But this is not so in a mass culture. People can read books, watch videos, mail order, fantasize at home, interact through computer bulletin boards, and formulate their own modes of interaction and identitites before they meet another player or potential partner face to face at a convention, rally, brunch, seminar, encounter group or bar. Gay bars and leather clubs are no longer the secret societies they once were, nor are they the sole entrance into participation in those communities.
And here we have the bi switch revolution. People are coming to discover their sexuality with the freedom to experiment more. Experimenting across power-exchange lines and experimenting across gender lines are not so different. Within the S/M community then, we find people who would have been straight tops, playing with both men and women and enjoying being on the receiving end as well. Many switches claim their experiences on one end heighten their appreciation and help refine their technique on the other end. The old guard is not wholly comfortable with this new attitude, but it is beyond their control now. The new face of the community is not locked into one or two strict roles. Switches are living in that in-between space, and uniting people that were heretofore divided into tops and bottoms, and bisexual S/M players are uniting the gay and lesbian leather communities. Now imagine a "bisexual revolution" outside of the S/M world. Bisexuals could play the same role of unifying factor among other isolated sexual groups, gay, straight, lesbian, transgendered.
In a perfect world, for me, no human would be locked into one pre-determined role, whether that role be gender-based, orientation-based, power-based, or otherwise. This kind of a world would be free of stereotypes, sexism, ageism, racism... Bisexuals and S/M switches have a necessary advantage in our ability to envision such a world, for we are already living it. Those of us in the middle ground must work together to spread the word, to continue to show new generations that there is something other than life at the extremes. The view from the middle is great; come on over!
Wiseman, Jay, SM 101: A Realistic Introduction, self-published, San Mateo, CA, 1992
Townsend, Larry, The Leatherman's Handbook II: Updated Second Edition, Carlyle Communications Ltd, New York, 1989