(Fort Myers, FL)-- I'm sunburned now.

I arrived at City of Palms Park a little before eleven a.m. in time to park close to the stadium and see the line of hopeful fans outside the ticket office, hoping it would open and divulge last minute seats.

Today was a little reprise of the 2004 World Series, because the opponent today was the Cardinals. Many of the fans hoping for tickets were Cardinals fans, but it was tricky to pick them out at a glance, since so much of the Cardinals gear resembles the Red Sox gear -- home whites, red batting practice jerseys, lots of red t-shirts and hats. Me, I wore green, even though St. Patrick's Day is not until tomorrow (mostly because I forgot to save my green for the occasion).

Before the game, Jason Varitek hit in the cage, and Johnny Pesky autographed many, many copies of his book, Mr. Red Sox, written by my good friend Bill Nowlin. Bill was there, too, pulling the books out of the boxes and keeping the line moving. I said hello, and took some photos, and then moved on to check the place out.

City of Palms Park is a typical spring training facility, utilitarian and cozy. Perhaps its one unique decorative feature are some foliage, as soem kind of climbing vine that blooms with red flowers, grows all over the archways and entrances. Today it was quite windy, with lots of capricious gusts, and the result was red flower petals blowing everywhere. With the mild sun and 79 degree temperatures, the playful breeze turned the place into one continuous World Series victory parade, as the red petals rained down and swirled everywhere I went. Or at least a parade of championship T-shirts. Among the fun ones I saw, one that read "Now I Can Die Happy," and another that mimicked the old "I (Heart) NY" shirts of the Ed Koch era, except instead of a heart, a Boston Red Sox team logo appeared.

And yes, a jolt of electricity went through the crowd when the announcer asked them to give it up for the World Champion Boston Red Sox. You get the feeling no one will get tired of (or used to...) hearing that phrase too soon. I sat down on the grassy berm in right field, next to a fan filling in the lineups (whom I promptly copied them from). "Wow, I can hardly believe the World Series happened," I said to him.

"Oh, I know," he said.

"I mean, the Cardinals 3-4-5 hitters got what, only two hits? That's just unbelievable." Tim Wakefield was on the mound by this point, facing Albert Pujols. Pujols got a hit, and I said, "There is was, the hit he wanted to get in the World Series."

"Yeah, if he does, they probably win at least one game," my new friend said. We shook our heads. Wakefield, meanwhile, didn't let it bother him. He looked, well, like Tim Wakefield. The gusty wind made the knuckleball especially hard to hit. John Mabry struck out and looked like a Little Leaguer while doing it.

The Sox, though, teed off pretty good on Jason Marquis. There were four home runs in the game. Bill Mueller had a solo shot. A few innings later, Manny and Ortiz went back to back. And the guy who was hitting in the nine hole, the one guy we had never heard of, a minor league 2B named Ramon Hernandez, also hit one, ironically just after we had looked him up in the roster to see he's really not a big guy. You'd think a minor league middle infielder wouldn't be a big power threat against a major league pitcher, but... he was.

The Sox ended up winning 9-3, and we got to see Keith Foulke pitch, too. But the day wasn't over. The PA announcer exhorted us to stick around for a special filming of QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY. Yes, that's right, the "Fab Five" team of gay male make-over artists plied their skills on five members of the Boston Red Sox.

I'm not even sure I can make a coherent comment on the fact that just a few years ago, the baseball establishment was in an uproar about the potential outing of a gay major league player, prompting Mike Piazza to call a press conference to announce his heterosexuality--and now we've got the Red Sox on QUEER EYE. Let me say this: there are gay players, and there always will be. The culture of the major league clubhouse forces all players to keep quiet about this, the gay players themselves especially. Eventually this is an issue MLB (and all professional sports) will have to deal with, but I don't predict it will be soon.

Anyway, I have never actually watched the show "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" but I have heard all about it. The filming began with the Fab Five coming out onto the field, in uniform, each wearing a jersey with the number 5, of course, and Carson, who is apparently the queeniest of them all, in a pink jersey studded with rhinestones. Pink hat, pink socks, too. Cute.

Then came the Red Sox wives, who would pass judgement on whether the makeovers were successful.

And then came five Red Sox players, using the third base line as a fashion show runway. First, Jason Varitek. As far as we could tell from the stands, all they did was put him in a good suit and sandals. Doug Mirabelli, "the Italian Stallion!" Carson quipped, followed. Tim Wakefield, looking good. Kevin Millar followed, prancing up the line and causing Carson to shriek, "Oh, Kevin Millar, you complete me!"

And last, Johnny Damon in lemon yellow pants and nice suit jacket. Did they cut his hair? Perish the thought, but they did frost his tips. Damon moonwalked in his fashion runway walk, and drew the loudest cheers from the crowd.

After that, the players went to change back into uniforms, to team up with the Fab Five guys, to play a two inning exhibition game against the Port Charlotte Little League. I couldn't stay for this part, since I had to get back to my hotel, change into a black evening gown, and get over to the Ted Williams Museum induction dinner.

For those of you who can't picture me in a black evening gown, all I can say is, I think even the guys from Queer Eye would say I looked damn good.

The festivities began with an hour of reception, which is to say milling about looking at the silent auction items, visiting Fergie Jenkins' table, and talking with my fellow tablemates. The auction had many very nice items, including many framed, matted, mounted photographs, autographed--some portraits, some action shots, all very intriguing. I put my name down on several items, but expected to be outbid. An hour later, I still had the only bid on the framed, signed photo of Rick Wise, though. (At a $10 minimum, I didn't have much to lose--I was eventually outbid by six or seven more people, while some of the more popular pieces went for hundreds of dollars.)

The ceremony began with a presentation of the Lifetime Achievement Award to John Henry, who claimed he had to get to another ceremony on the other side of the state. So we watched a nice intro film, narrator by Tom Selleck, and then Henry received his award and gave a nice, if bland, acceptance speech. "Gee, I guess winning a World Series with the Red Sox *IS* a lifetime achievement," he said.

Then, we ate. They served the food at buffet tables, so the group jumped up en masse (over 600 people), but formed orderly lines. The food was good, with chicken cordon bleu, flounder filets, and beef in gravy. And cupcakes, decorated to look like baseballs with the #9 on them, of course.

Fergie Jenkins was honored with entry onto the museum's Wall of Achievement, while a great hitter from the days of the Big Red Machine, George Foster, was inducted into the Hitters Hall of Fame. Kevin Millar was awarded an award, but had to leave before the ceremony took place, so when emcee Dick Flavin mentioned it, he said "And Kevin Millar had to leave, so we already awarded him the... what was the award we gave him? Oh, the uh... the Queer Eye For the Straight Guy Award." (It was actually the Teddy Baseball Award, for team spirit.)

Bronson Arroyo was given "The Kid" Award, while at the other end of the spectrum, "The Teammates," Johnny Pesky, Bobby Doerr, and Dom DiMaggio were honored with the announcement that a special case honoring their bond with Ted would be unveiled at the museum. Each man was briefly interviewed by Dick Flavin and it was a true highlight of the event to hear them speak about Ted.

When it was all over, the players who would sign autographs did so for about a half hour. Bronson Arroyo signed many, as did Luis Tiant, and some others who were in the audience, like Dave "Boo" Ferris. I interviewed Ferris about two months ago for 50 Greatest Red Sox Games and so had to go and shake his hand. I wanted to shake Dom DiMaggio's hand as well, but "The Teammates" were well-protected by a Marine Corps guard, and were whisked away shortly after the ceremony ended.

And that was that. A very nice Red Sox day, all in all. Tomorrow they are predicting thunderstorms. I have no tickets, so perhaps I will stay in and watch the congressional hearings on steroids in baseball. Stormy weather, indeed.